Life is not a long quiet river
by Ellana Jung
Summary: " He couldn't understand. Why would his wife of five years, his lover of ten years, end their relationship ? Why happened ? What had he missed ? " Modern AU In which Merlin is a girl. A couple always has problems. They also had some. But a true love always end together in a way.


Arthur was contemplating the papers in front of him. Looking at him was his wife Lynn. Arthur read all the papers. Once again. Twice again. They were dated from four months ago. Divorce papers.

He couldn't understand. Why would his wife of five years, his lover of ten years, end their relationship ? Why happened ? What had he missed ?

" Why ? "

Lynn didn't answer but looked away.

" I think the answer is obvious Arthur."

" No it isn't. What happened ? What did I miss ? What have I done ? Did you cheat on me ? "

Lynn laid down her cup of coffee and walked to him. Arthur noticed she had shadows under her eyes. He hadn't noticed it before.

" I didn't cheat on you."

Arthur stayed silent. He knew she had morals. It comforted him.

" Nothing happened."

Arthur didn't understand. Why divorce if nothing happened ?

" That's the problem."

" I don't see it as a problem."

Lynn exploded.

" That's the problem. There's nothing between us anymore. I see you the morning, you come in the evening, even in the night or doesn't come at all. When was the last time we have done something together ? Just you and I without any obligation from work or something else. When was the last time we had sex ? Months ago. Do you know what day we are today ? Do you know Arthur ?"

Arthur had looked at her as if she was someone else. She looked angry. And she looked sad.

" Do you know what day we are Arthur ?"

" Tuesday, 19th April"

Lynn's face saddened. What had he forgotten ?

" You don't remember, do you ?"

Arthur's face stayed blank.

" Today, it would have been our ten year anniversary."

Arthur was struck by a flash of memories. Indeed, ten years ago they got together. He had asked her for months before she accepted to date him.

Her sad voice called him back to the reality.

" You didn't remember Arthur. I knew it. I hoped. I hoped for a long time."

Arthur saw the tears running from her eyes.

" We are strangers to each other Arthur. There's no love between us anymore."

It made him react.

" It's wrong. I love you."

" Really ? When was the last time you told me you loved me ?"

Arthur thought about it. He didn't remember.

" I don't remember either."

Lynn dried her eyes. She looked at him, eyes still shining.

" Listen Arthur. It has been a painful decision but I had to do it. We grew apart. We've become strangers. I removed some of my things already."

It made him snap.

" What ? Are you leaving ?"

" Yes."

" But ..."

" I will be at my mother's place 'til I can find a new one."

" But. You can't."

" Why ?"

" Because … because ..." Arthur couldn't find a valable reason. Not after all this shock.

" It belongs to you anyway. And I don't want to live here anymore."

" I don't want you to leave."

Lynn went to entrance hall. She took her coat. He went after her.

" Don't leave please. I need you."

It was true. He needed her. He didn't know what he could do without her. He kissed her but she didn't respond. He broke the contact.

" It's too late Arthur. Too late."

She opened the door and left. He couldn't believe it.

~.~ ~.~

This night, he kept contemplating the papers. These papers were mocking him. Laughing at him. They made him contemplate the life he had with her.

~.~ ~.~

_They met on the first year at the university. They were both 18. She was in Litterature and he was in Business. They weren't supposed to cross paths but her clumsiness and her bad sense of direction made it happen. It was a love at first sight to him. Not for her._

_He saw her again and again. They started to become friends. His feelings grew. Hers blossomed. After a few months of subtle persuasion, they had their first date on a beautiful day in April. After that their relationship grew. _

_After seven months, she lost her virginity to him, on a vacation together. It had been marvelous, joyful and full of love. They became closer than ever. _

_After a year and a half they had their first big fight. She saw a girl on him, in a compromising situation. Two months of tension had passed before he could prouve her that he hadn't cheated on her and that the girl had been doing a bet concerning him (Arthur had always been popular with the girls even when he had a girlfriend). _

_They got back together. It was a little wary at first but their relationship found again the dynamics of their debuts. _

_In the second year of their relation, Lynn presented him to her mother. It had been the first big move to a more serious relation. Hunith had been lovely and welcomed warmly Arthur. She became a motherly figure to him who had lost his mother when he was five. _

_Six months later, he presented his family to Lynn. Uther's welcome had been cold at first but he gradually became fond of her. Morgana already knew Lynn as they were friends. They shared two classes together and they had started a friendship that was still going strong today._

_At the debut of their third year, they both faced crisis. Her mother fell sick and he was the shoulder she cried on. She had a cancer but she recovered and was given a clear health bill the year later. In the same time, after three years and a half he had an internship at a compagny abroad for 6 months. Social networks, no communication, misconceptions made it that they broke up at the end of the third year._

_They returned together six months later when they were both miserable and Morgana had enough of them. Their reunion was a happy one. They moved in together in a small studio four months later. Their relatives were content for them. _

~.~ ~.~

Arthur had emptied a bottle of wine by midnight. He wondered what was left of their first studio in this big one. He wandered around and noticed the hand-made vase that she made when she went on her holidays with her mother (after Hunith got a clear bill of health). It was small but decorated with flowers and had a heart with their names. He smiled sadly. It was all that was left from their first studio. The rest of their things had disappeard or had been thrown away.

He went to their room and felt a new atmosphere. It was emptiness. He looked into the drawer and saw that Lynn had been true to her words. Most of her clothes had been taken away. The small box where she had her jewerly wasn't there.

On her side of the bed, on her nightstand, a small box troned. He knew what it was. He opened the box, looked in and saw her wedding ring.

For the first time in years, Arthur cried. He slept late.

~.~ ~.~

_Six months after they moved in together Arthur proposed to her. He had started to think about it a year ago but it became more serious when they moved in together. _

_It was a bliss. Waking next to her every morning, touching her, making love to her. They watched TV together, they would go out together or with friends. They would eat take out and spent the night loving each other. _

_He proposed to her during a family dinner. He hadn't particularly thought about it but it felt the right moment. Lynn had been invited by Uther to meet the whole family. She had hesitated but her mother assured her that she would be fine and that she wouldn't be alone as she would spent Christmas with Gaius and her relatives. _

_Lynn had been warmly welcomed by Uther and by Arthur's grandparents. In fact, his grandfather and grandmother had fought for her affections. His uncle Gorlois and his wife welcomed her politely. His cousins Vailant and Kay too. By the end of the dinner, they had opened themselves to her and were laughing with her. _

_Lynn had this magic. She always made people fall for her. She had this easy-going nature and this warmness that radiated from her. Arthur seeing this, had privately asked his father for his mother's ring. Uther had looked at him. He gave it to him and wished him good luck. He told him that he approuved._

_It was the end of the dinner when he proposed to her. He had suddenly stood, stopping every conversation and attracting the attention on him. His cousin had asked what was happening when he went on his knee and took out the ring. There was a complete silence. _

_When she answered, he kissed her passionately under the applause of his family. He even heard his grandmother speak to his father about children and how it would be nice to extend the family house. Uther sipped his champagne and smiled._

~.~ ~.~

When Arthur woke the morning, it was almost the time to go to his work. Arthur now worked in his father's compagny. He was the second boss after his father and Morgana was working there as the HR head and was the third most important in the compagny.

Arthur arrived late. His shadows under his eyes made his employees think that he had a good night. Meaning _that type_ of good night. Arthur was, however, irritable. By the end of the morning, no one dared to approach him. No one else but Morgana.

Morgana went into office and dragged him to her office. Morgana, Arthur remembered, was strong. Also he didn't try to escape and let her have her way. He closed the door and slumped into the comfortable chair in front of him.

"What happened ? Why are you scaring the employees ? Three came to my office to cry and to complain about your behaviour."

Arthur sighed. He knew that if he didn't talk, she would make him speak until he surrendered.

"Lynn wants to divorce. She gave me the papers yesterday and left."

Morgana's face indicated her surprise.

"Oh." Morgana said softly.

Arthur knew that voice. It meant she knew it.

" You knew." He said accusing her.

" I knew." She didn't look at him.

Arthur exploded.

" Why you didn't tell me ?"

Morgana sighed and paced in front of him.

" She told me about thinking about it. But … I never thought she would do it."

Arthur wanted to break something.

" Go home, wait for her and speak to her."

" We talked. Last night."

" Did you ? Or did you let her speak ?"

Arthur wanted to disappear into the chair. To make his headache go away.

" Yesterday was our ten year anniversary. I forgot it."

" Oh Arthur ..."

" She told me it has been months since we had sex. That she didn't remember when I told her that I loved her for the last time. She told me that we were strangers." His voice broke at the end.

Morgana went to him and slapped him.

" Will you stop to wallow yourself in self-pity ! Do you still have feelings for her ? Do you know if she still feels something for you ? Not everything is lost Arthur ! Wake up !"

Arthur was seeing Morgana in a new light. She was right. They hadn't talked about their feelings. Maybe everthing wasn't lost indeed.

" You're right !"

Arthur hugged her. Sometimes he loved his sister.

" What are you doing here ?"

" But I have to work."

" Your marriage is more important that your work. We can live without you for a moment."

Arthur kissed her on her cheeks and left. He ran to his office and wrote a word for his secretary that he would be absent for the afternoon and that she had to cancel everything until further notice. He put on his coat and walked away.

His employees moved aside when he walked. He seemed in a better wood and they wondered what happened in a such short notice.

~.~ ~.~

He went home and saw nothing had moved from last night. The ring and the papers were still at their place. Seeing them made him sad but decided that he would make some efforts.

He looked into the cupboard and saw that there was almost no food left. Tonight he would cook for her. He would invite her and he would apologize. He would promise to be a better husband and to be present.

Seeing that it was only two in the afternoon, he decided to call her when she would finish her work. Until then he would make some shopping and prepare the meal.

He called her at six, when he thought she had finished. Bad luck, she had a reunion and she wouldn't be free before one hour. When asked to leave a message, he asked them to tell that he called and that he would wait for her call.

It came one hour later precisely. She sounded tired.

"Good evening Arthur. What can I do for you ?"

"Good evening Lynn. Well I wanted to know if you could go home tonight. I wanted to speak with you."

She hesitated.

"I prepared a dinner. Pasta."

He knew that she loved his pasta. It always made her swoon.

" I'll come. But I won't stay long. I have to fetch my mother from her association."

" Fine. When will you be here ?"

" In twenty minutes I think."

" Okay, see you then."

Arthur dressed the table. He wanted some candles but he imagined that she wouldn't find it appropriate.

He waited but it was half an hour later that she came.

~.~ ~.~

It was awkward. Since yesterday, their dynamic had changed radically. He didn't know if he had to hug her, to shake her hand, kiss her. In the end, he opted for nothing.

She smiled awkwardly. She looked exhausted.

"I'm sorry I'm late. There was a trafic jam."

"It's okay. You're here now."

She took off her coat and hung it. She went to the kitchen and sat. He sat in front of her and the tension was felt.

" Well good appetit."

They ate in silence. Arthur kept looking at her but she was avoiding him. She ate quickly when before she would have enjoyed the meal. He wondered when was the last time he had made something for her. When the last time he left work to be with her.

He hadn't appetite anymore. It wasn't time to pretend anymore.

" We need to talk."

She sipped her glass of wine.

" I talked last night. But if you want to tell something more, go ahead."

" Do you love me ?" he bluntly asked. She closed her eyes.

" Do you love me ?" she answered

Arthur and Lynn were looking at each other. In her eyes, he could see the pain, the regret but also something else. Determination.

He was sure that she could read in his eyes his hesitation.

She answered the first.

" I don't know if I love you anymore."

The truth hurted. He was pained.

" For the last months, you had been a complete stranger. You're not the person I fell in love with."

Arthur was numbed.

" But I love you."

" Really ? Did you love me when you cheated on me ? When you were having sex with other women ?"

Arthur paled. He felt sick.

" I know about it. I discovered it five months ago. Your mistress told me."

Arthur was about to vomit. Lynn was now enraged.

" She didn't tell me out loud. But she insinuated it. I hired a private detective who gave me the evidence. The business trips were perfect for both of you. Right ?" She was now bitter and ironic.

He couldn't say anything.

" Your secretary. Sophia. You couldn't be more cliché than that Arthur."

She had an hollow laugh.

" It opened my eyes. Made me see that we had drifted apart. I really hoped that something would happen, something that would push you to me."

She looked at him into his eyes. As if she was really looking into his soul, trying to find some memories of him with Sophia.

" You don't love me Arthur. If you did, you would have never cheated on me. You would have taken the hints I gave you."

It made him react.

" What hints ?"

" Of course you wouldn't notice them. You were busy at work or sexing with your mistress, maybe you were doing both."

~.~ ~.~

_Lynn had prepared a sexy outfit for this evening. It had been a while they had sex and she had enough of her toys. _

_She prepared her nightstand with oil and made an effort to be pretty. He would come in a few minutes. She felt excited. Arthur loved lingerie. _

_When he came he greeted her with a peek and went directly under the shower. She thought about joining him but she decided to let him alone. He looked angry._

_He had already eaten and went directly to bed. She joined him and started to kiss him passionately. He gently pushed her and went to sleep. _

_It had been one month and she felt she could cry._

_She tried this tactic three more times but stopped it. Something was wrong, she could feel it._

~.~ ~.~

" Just because we hadn't sex, doesn't mean we were growing apart. I was tired."

" TIRED ? TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE WHO WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN HAVE SEX WITH HER HUSBAND ?"

" It's normal, it happens in couples. And I didn't cheat on you."

He did but he was sure she was bluffing about the private detective.

She slapped him.

" I have evidence Arthur ! Evidence ! How do you dare to lie to me ?"

She walked off and went to their bedroom. She came back soon with an enveloppe. She angrily took out what was inside.

It was photos from him and Sophia. Him and another woman at a hotel.

" I have the originals at my lawyer's office."

He looked at her. She looked disgusted by him.

" I want you to sign the papers. It can be an amiable separation. Unless you want me to make it public."

She would do it, she knew how important it was for him and for the compagny to maintain a good image.

" What do you want ?"

" My freedom. My happiness."

He took the papers and brought them to the living room. She was waiting. He had to choices. Torn it apart or sign them.

" It was good while it lasted Arthur. But when something doesn't work anymore, you have to know to let it go."

She took a breath.

" Staying together would have made us both miserable."

Arthur signed them. He gave them to her.

" Take them and go away. I don't want to see you anymore." he angrily said.

She took them and looked at them.

" I will take the rest of my belongings tomorrow afternoon. Then I will leave the key in the letterbox."

He kept glaring at her.

She sighed and put the documents on her bag. She went to the entrance door and put on her coat. He followed her.

She opened the door and turned to face him.

" Goodbye Arthur."

She softly closed the door. He felt his something in him breaking.

~.~ ~.~

The day after he returned to work. He dismissed his secretary and went straight away to work. He was in a foul mood and he was having a little hangover. The employees decided it was wiser to avoid him. Sophia, stucked with him, supported his anger. He hated her. If only she hadn't seduced him. If only she hadn't tricked into this, his wife would still be with him.

He announced his decision to fire her when the work was over and when most of people were going home. She was shocked, that what least he could say. But he didn't supported her anymore. In fact he wanted to slap her, to hurt her as much _**her**_ departure hurted him.

Morgana came thrity minutes after Sophia had left. She was angry.

"Why the hell did you fire your secretary ? Are you nuts ?"

" Go away."

" Why did you fire her ?"

" I don't like her !"

" That's not a reason. She is competent !"

" We can always find someone else competent."

And adding more louder.

" Go away and leave me the fuck alone."

Morgana slammed the door. He massaged his temples. He was tired.

~.~ ~.~

He didn't went home that night. In fact, he slept at his office for two nights. The people were starting to talk. The truth is that he didn't wanted to face the emptiness of his home. He knew she would stay truth to her words.

Sophia hadn't come back. Arthur was determined on this point and there was nothing Morgana could do. Morgana came to see him on the third day.

"Good morning Arthur. How are you ?"

"Go away ! I have work to do !"

"No you don't ! I've cancelled every appointment."

He reacted badly.

" You can't do that."

" I can, I'm the head of the HR !"

She went to him and lifted him effortlessy from his chair. She shook him.

"Wake up Arthur ! It's been three days you've been here ! You have to go home, take a shower, eat and sleep. You look like a zombie."

Arthur groaned. His headache was stronger than ever.

" I'll take you there. There's no no. I'll drag you there if I have to."

He obeyed. He was tired and he wanted to sleep in his bed. Not in his small sofa in his office.

He followed her. Morgana still took him by the arm, to make sure he wouldn't flee. The employees looked at him strangely. He was usually handsome looking but now he looked depressed. He knew they would speak when he left.

Morgana took his keys and drove them to his flat. She checked the letter box. It was half-full and she sighed. On the lift, she watched him. He looked tired.

She opened the door and directly felt the emptiness of the flat. Sure most things hadn't moved. But it was the atmosphere, the coldness that told her what happened. In the living room, the table hadn't been undone. Everything had been left the same way as three days ago. Photos and papers were scattered everywhere.

Arthur said nothing, she would see it soon. He told her that he was going to take a shower then coming back. She cried after him but he ignored her. He knew she would scream at him more. He could wait for it.

~.~ ~.~

An hour later, when he went back to the living room, Morgana had cleaned everything and had prepared a fresh meal. She was sitting on the sofa, reading a book. Arthur had shaved and put on new clothes.

She looked at him but said nothing. He could see the disappointment. He could see the deception. But he knew she wouldn't abandon him. She was his twin sister after all. They stucked together no matter what.

They ate in silence. He knew she was waiting for him to eat before speaking.

When the dishes were cleaned, they sat in front of each other. The papers, the ring and the keys were visible.

" Arthur, I won't tell you what I think about your behavior, I think you know it."

He knew it indeed.

" I knew it would happen : you were both young when you met, young when you married. You had a relationship that almost lasted a third of your life with someone. It's long. You cheating on her is the proof that you were getting bored. And that you didn't love her anymore."

She paused.

" I think you need to take a vacation. To see friends. To travel. To change your mind. I can make sure that you won't be bothered and see some people."

She sighed.

" I don't want to be between you but I want to stay in touch with Lynn. She is also my friend. I don't want to be involved more than I am in your relationship. But you have to know that I'll stuck with you in case things get ugly. Not that they will get ugly. From what I've read, she only took her things and doesn't want any help from you."

He looked at the window. It was sunny outside and yet he was feeling the rain inside.

" At your return, you will have to face her for the audience. But I will be there to support you."

~.~ ~.~

Morgana left and made him promise not to go to work for the next two weeks. His work would be shared between Lance and Colin. They were both young and eager.

As he had nothing to do, he wondered what he would do next. He could always call Lance or Colin to go to a pub but both were probably going unavaible due to the new charge of work. He wondered who he could call.

It made him realize that his friends were also friends with her. Even his family was friendly with her. He didn't have that much friends on his own. Just Leon and Percy. It was sad. He had shared so much of his life with her.

He went to the drink cupbroad and took a bottle of wine. He opened it and went back to the living room where he turned on the tv. He drank. He would think about what to do the next day … the next day.

~.~ ~.~

For the next two weeks it became a routine. He would wake up, eat his breakfast and wander in the morning. Then he would eat a lunch and go to the gym. There he met a few people, young and old. He even had a quick thing with some people but it was always empty. In his mind, in his everyday act he was seeing her. The way the cupboard were sorted, the way his clothes were hanged, everything in the house reminded him of her.

He contacted Percy and Leon and they hanged out. They caught up a little. It made him realize that he had been drifting away from them.

It was more depressing when he looked at evidences of him cheating on her. With Sophia mostly. With other women too. It happened. Just happened. She was away for a family meeting (where he didn't want to go), Sophia was there. They were both drunk. It happened again and again.

He hadn't thought she would miss the physical side of their relation. He hadn't had this feeling because Sophia was willing. The others too. It became an habit. She never voiced her thoughts. Not really. She presumed he would know as they have been together for ten years.

She was the type to keep things to her. He knew she was secretive. He hadn't tried for months without knowing it. She was secretive but also a chatterbox. He realized now that she had stopped talking. She just said the banalities. But he wasn't paying attention. He hadn't paid attention anymore.

~.~ ~.~

When he saw her again, it was at the audience three months later. They had no prenup agreement. Legally, as he earned more than her (she was a teacher), he had to give her an allowance. She refused claming that she earned her life that she could live and that there wasn't problem. The money in the joint account had been split into 70/30 into her favor. He owned the flat so he would keep it.

She had been adamant at that. They both had jobs, both could live well. He was reminded on how prideful she was. She came from a poor family but they always managed to get food on the table. She always had worked. In high school and at the university. She always had been active. He wouldn't worry about her.

He knew he wouldn't see her anymore when she left the audiance.

~.~ ~.~

His father has been devastated by the news of their divorce. Arthur knew that his father loved Lynn. She reminded him of his mother, Ygraine. Uther always said that Lynn had the same spirit and that was attracted Pendragon men.

Uther had started to make plans to extand the family house. It was the sign that Uther wanted grandchildren. Arthur didn't want children. He wasn't ready and he wondered if it was also one of the reason she left him. He knew she wanted children. She didn't tell him but he knew. He saw her coming back from visiting that friend or that friend who just had a child with a happy face.

Maybe it was also a reason that pushed him to cheat on her. He didn't know.

His father talked with him about it six months after their official separation. He was 29.

" You know, your mother and I almost divorced once."

" You never told me."

" You were three and things were becoming too complicated for her. She wanted to work, I wanted her to stay at home and take care of you."

" What happened next ?"

" We compromised. We took a nanny, I came home earlier from work while she was working."

" Was it hard ? To compromise ?"

" It was. But it was worth. She was my love."

It was true. Uther never remarried. Arthur knew he had seen women. But none of them lasted enough to be presented to them.

" How did you know it was time for children ?"

" We talked about. We both wanted it. You came."

Uther had been present for them. But not that much. It was their grandmother who took care of them.

" It was wonderful. Two bundles of joy."

Uther smiled, lost in the past.

" I was absent and I regret it."

Before leaving, Uther told him something that made him think.

" You know Arthur, you would have been a wonderful father."

Arthur drowned his thoughts in wine this night. His father told nothing, drinking with him.

~.~ ~.~

He saw her again, two years later at Morgana's wedding. She came with a friend, Gwen, who hooked up with Lance.

She looked nice. She had thinned down a little but she looked healthy and he would say happy. Morgana had warned him before. Warned them.

Lynn and Morgana had stayed in touch. Lynn knew Mordred and she was the one who presented him to Morgana three years ago. Morgana always avoided to speak about her in his presence. It was painful and it always ended with alcohol for him.

She looked good. She still had a good figure, the same curves at the same places. Her smile and her eyes were brillant as ever. Her blue maid dress revealed her long legs and her creamy skin. Arthur wanted her.

Their meeting had been awkward. She tried to speak to him but he couldn't. He would have probably taken her away and ravished her. Or scream at her. For abandoning him into the misery he was.

Because he was miserable. He hadn't been able to have a relationship that lasted more than two months after that. It was always short and sex.

He started to drink. Only at night and at home or at a pub with Leon or Percy. They would both send him safetly back home. Or he would go back with a nameless and faceless girl.

She must have sensed it because she avoided him after that. He saw her speaking to his father who looked happy to see her. It seemed to be the same for her and they spoke that night.

She danced with Mordred's friends. He was jealous. He was jealous of every guy dancing with her, even his father. He was jealous of everyone's happiness.

~.~ ~.~

He bumped into her at the toilets. She apologized and tried to go away but he caught her hand and led her out of the party and into the gardens. They walked side by side in silence, his hand holding her warm one.

She looked at him and he spoke.

" I wanted to speak to you. Away from there … I ..."

" How are you Arthur ? Really are ?"

Even separated from him, she knew when he wasn't well. He missed it.

" I'm okay. I guess."

She looked at the moon. His shoulder was now touching hers.

" Are you in a relation ?"

She sighed.

" I had some … but it didn't last. And you ?"

" The same."

They stayed silent. Arthur wondered if he should ask her for a date.

" I will leave London soon. I got a job of headteacher in a primary school in Scotland."

That shocked him.

" I can't stay in London anymore. I need some fresh air and a new life."

He swallowed the bitterness feel he was having. She always was a free spirit.

" I hope you'll be happy Lynn."

He felt hypocrite. He didn't want her to be happy without him.

She smiled shyly at him. She was looking the same as she was ten years ago.

" Thank you."

She kissed him on his cheek and went back to the party. He followed her a little later. He danced and smiled at girls. It pleased Morgana and his father. She looked at him during the rest of the party. A smile gracing her lips.

~.~ ~.~

Two years after the wedding of Morgana, he heard about her again.

It was an accident. On a saturday, he was in a pub with some partners in Scotland. Regulars were talking loudly and one conversation caught him.

" I swear guys, it's the one."

" You said that Gwaine about Mithian. See how it ended." one guy said

" Trust me Owen, I'm sure !" the guy called Gwaine said

" Why ? Do you want to marry her ?" another guy asked

" No ! No marriage anymore. It's the same for her. It's something else Cenred."

" Then what makes you think it's the one ?" Owen asked

" It's been two years and I'm starting to think about children." Gwaine answered drinking

A silence took over the pub.

" You ! Gwaine Knight, womanizer ! Children !" the bartender cried

" Yeah. I'd like to have childrens." Gwaine said softly

" Guys this day has arrived ! Gwaine Knight is ready to be father ! Pray God for them !"

Guys in the pub cheered.

" Who is this woman ?" a guy, sitting not far from Arthur asked

It was Owen who answered.

" It's the headteacher of the primary school. Lynn Emrys !"

" Ah that woman ! It's a feisty one you got Gwaine !" the bartender said

"That's true !" muttered one partner of Arthur

"What's true ?" Arthur asked. He couldn't help but be curious.

"That woman, they're talking about. She scolded me because I came one hour late to retrieve my son."

Arthur laughed. That would everything like her.

Applause suddenly rose and Arthur turned to see what was happening. It was her.

Arthur thought that she looked damn good, youthful as ever and hot as ever.

"What's going on guys ?" she asked as she came closer to where Gwaine and his friend were

The bartender answered.

" You, Lynn Emrys are truly something !"

" I am ?" she stopped walking

" You made this guy" the bartender showed Gwaine who was grinning " This guy, the womanizer of Edinburg, said he wanted children."

She looked bewildered but grinned.

" That's a good thing I guess."

The men looked at her as if she was crazy. Arthur feared what would happen next.

" Good thing ? But it changes how things work here ! It changes everything. It's a good thing you said ?" the bartender cried as if she was crazy

She shrugged and turned to look at Gwaine who smiled.

" It's a good thing that he wants children because it happens that I'm pregnant."

Silence took over the bar again.

Gwaine stood from his seat and faced Lynn who was smiling shyly. Arthur analysed Gwaine. Brown-haired guy, tall and built. Handsome for the adventurous look, pleasant enough for the rest of people.

" You're serious ?" Gwaine asked hopeful

" I am. I'm three months pregnant."

Gwaine kissed her passionately and turned her around. Everyone cheered.

" Drinks on the house everyone !"

Cheers became louder. Arthur stopped drinking. He was nauseated and wanted to get away from here.

~.~ ~.~

He saw her again one year later in London. They were both 34. She had a stroller and was glowing. They were both at Morgana's place (that she shared with Mordred). Morgana was having a baby shower and had invited everyone. Lynn was there with her baby. It hurted him.

He wasn't supposed to feel that way, wasn't supposed to be hurt. He was supposed to have moved on. He had someone, a woman called Elena. They had been together for one year and yeah it was serious.

Lynn was radiant. Morgana cowed at the baby who was a girl.

Their greetings were awkward but she looked peaceful. He could do it. For everyone's sakes he could do it. Morgana presented Elena to Lynn and both got along instantly.

Morgana was holding the baby girl. She looked like him and her at the same time. She had her mother's eyes and complexion but had the features of her father and his hair. She was pretty and looked intelligent. She did not cry. Lynn explained that she was a good girl and allowed her parents to sleep more than three hours at night.

It cliked when he saw Elena holding Freya (that was a strange in Arthur's mind), who didn't appreciate it her much. She however liked Morgana and Mordred, and even Arthur to everyone's surprise. Arthur was a natural. He had the right position of holding her right away and Freya looked at him amazed. She played with his pendant (a gift from his mother) and babbled happily. Lynn was happy to see him playing with her girl.

Arthur, thought, that maybe he was ready to have children.

~.~ ~.~

The birth of his son William had been both a great and a painful event. Great because he had a son and that he had never fellt happy like this but painful because he lost Elena during the labor. Being a widow at 35 wasn't what he excepted. His son was born too early and William spent the first weeks of his life in pediatry.

He took William home two months after his birth. He stopped working at the headquarters. He couldn't leave his son to nurses (he was so fragile and tiny) and he wanted to spent time with him. He worked from home, that was better. That was when William was twelve months, that he saw _her_ again.

She was moving in next to him. It surprised both of them to be neighbourgs. Freya was almost three years old and both looked sad. He wondered what happened.

Morgana came almost every day with her son Merlin to see how things were. She wasn't surprised to see Lynn. It was another proof of their friendship in Arthur's mind. Lynn and Morgana proposed to take care of William. With their help he was able to return to work. It was strange a first. Commanding people, meeting new ones and signing contracts.

It was when he had to go away for a three days trip that he realized it wasn't for him anymore. Before he could have gone away. Before he would have spent the night with someone (his ex or a fling). But that was before. His father wasn't disappointed. He understood. Lance took over his job and Arthur got his. It was the best. For him and for William.

The night he changed positions in the compagny, he came late. He had left William to Lynn's care. William loved her and so she did. Freya, he had noticed, was smiling when she was with William.

She was exhausted when she opened his door for him. He went in and noticed that many colored papers and toys were scattered on the floor. His son was sleeping in his crib and he supposed that Freya was in her room.

" Do you want to drink something ?" she asked softly

" No thank you, I will take Will and go home."

She nodded and they went into the living room. She softly lifted the crib and gave it to him. William was smiling softly in his sleep.

" He almost spoke today."

Surprised Arthur looked at his son sleeping peacefully.

" He will probably speak very soon."

Arthur had a happy face.

" Be aware that after that he won't shut up."

" I'm ready for this."

She smiled at him. He was feeling more comfortable with her. They had a comfortable relationship now. A friendship.

She accompagnied him to the entrance door.

"Thank you Lynn. It means so much for me and for William."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm happy to help."

He hesitated but now felt like the perfect moment.

" You know Lynn … I wanted to apologize."

" For what ?"

" For what happened 8 years ago, when we were together ..."

She waited.

" I'm sorry for I treated you. I never apologized."

" It's okay Arthur. It's okay. I forgave you already."

She kissed him shyly on his cheek. He felt better

~.~ ~.~

After that the dynamic of their relationship changed drastically. It was like at the time he met her at the university. When he met her they were both 18. They were now both 36 and had a child of their own.

They played cat and mouse. One of them was the cat for one day and the next day they changed roles. Everyone noticed it. Morgana was being happy about it. Uther was conflicted but he ultimately resigned himself to wait and see what would happen next. This game lasted one year.

Their children got along very well. Freya was playing the role of the big sister to William who followed her everywhere. Freya for a five years old was very mature and loved nursing William. William who was clumsly as was his mother. He had inherited her soft hair but he took everything else from Arthur.

William considered Lynn as his mother. When he saw her, he was happy and always called her mummy. Arthur never corrected him. Elena wasn't here and that was Lynn that mostly took care of him. And Arthur hoped she felt the same way.

~.~ ~.~

Arthur had always wondered what happened to Gwaine. He never asked her (and he knew that Morgana knew the answer) but he always thought about it when he went to her flat to take his son.

He got his answer and that was stopped their cat and mouse play. The children were both asleep and they were looking at a movie on her TV. He didn't remember how they get to this subject but he remembered very well what she said.

" He died. We had an accident. A motorbike came in our direction and ran into his side. He died directly. But I survived. I got weeks of hospitalisation and his parents took care of Freya."

" I'm sorry."

And he was. He didn't know Gwaine but he knew for sure that a man capable to love Lynn wasn't a bad man.

" The worst is … I miscarried. I was two months when it happened."

He slunged his arm around her shoulders and she hugged him tightely. He let her cry.

~.~ ~.~

He asked her on a date when they were both 38. It was in May and it was a sunny day. William, three years old, was in pre-school with his cousin Merlin who was four. Freya, still mature for a six years old, was at the primary school were her mother worked (she was the headteacher).

Lynn had hesitated but she accepted. It was awkward and they both felt like teens again. But it went well. They got on new dates again and that was Freya who pushed away their hesitation.

They were kissing in the hallway when she caught them. She ran to the living room where Morgana (pregnant again), Merlin, William and Hunith were. She had told them and when they came back they were met by the smirk of Morgana and the sigh of Hunith.

"You know Will mommy and your dad are making a new baby."

Lynn and Arthur blushed heavily.

" We're not making babies Freya !"

" But the teacher said that kissing made babies."

Lynn sighed. She was going to have a work with the teacher.

" What is a kiss ?" asked William who was playing with Merlin

Freya looked at them expectantly. Arthur grabbed Lynn and he softly kissed her.

"EWW" was the answer of the two little boys.

"Finally" Hunith said while Morgana nodded.

~.~ ~.~

They started this relation more slowly and they took it more seriously. Arthur hadn't had been with a woman since Elena's death. And even when he was with Elena he hadn't cheat on her. He had understood the lesson. But he did missed the warmth of someone else. He had started to jerk off thinking about Lynn.

They kissed. They made out. But they weren't to sex stage. Not yet. It was only four months and he wanted her to make the first step.

When they had sex again. It was six months after they started to date again. The children were sleeping in their room, and they were in her bed making out. She was beneath him when she told him she wanted to do it.

It was a discover. He discovered that her body had changed with her pregnancy. Her breasts were bigger than he remembered and he worshiped them. He remembered the spots that made her weak. Being in her made him feel whole. He hadn't felt this way for a long time.

When Freya found them together the next morning it didn't fell awkward. She screamed, woking William. The kids played in the bed and Arthur felt like he had a family. His own family.

He didn't tell her that he loved her. He wasn't ready for that. Because it would mean something more intense that they had now.

~.~ ~.~

When they got out together with the children on the weekends, people assumed the children were theirs. Arthur, who was alone with Freya and buying her icecream, got a shock when an old lady told him that his daughter was pretty. He felt awkward and felt sorry for the late Gwaine.

Lynn told him that it also happened to her. William calling her mommy didn't help after all. Freya was refering to him as dad. He didn't know how to feel. She was six but had lost her father at a young age. She probably didn't remember him.

Lynn reassured him. She was okay with this. Freya was young and needed another parental figure. Arthur was the one for her. They would say the truth later.

~.~ ~.~

He told that he loved her completely at a random moment. They were dinning together when it left his mouth. The children noticed nothing, fighting for the chocolate cake. Her eyes were on him, wide opened.

This night he prouved her that he truly loved her. They had reached a new level in their relation. Since this moment, he told her everyday that he loved her. To kiss her and to put some nice words where she could see them. He was now enjoying having a commited relation with no one cheating.

~.~ ~.~

He hadn't expected this. They hadn't expected this.

She was pregnant. With twins. At 41.

Freya was nine years old. William six. They had their hands full with them already.

If it was a shock to them, it was worst for the others. Hunith had fainted and Uther almost had a heart attack. Morgana had slipped on a banana thrown by baby number three.

Twins. It was running in the family. But it was also the first babies between he and Lynn. The hyphen between them. They decided to move in a house in the suburbs of London. Arthur was now realising an old dream, meaning having a house with a garden and the dog (who came later, six months before the twins. It was a labrador called Kilgarrah).

This pregnancy was closely watched by everyone. Lynn being 41 it was a pregnancy with high risks. Thankfully the check-up were good. Everyone waited for them. Uther had extanded the family house in Wales and was renovating everything.

Lynn stopped working at seven months. She was arranging everything in the new house and Arthur was helping her as much as she could. Hunith came to help them and surprisingly Uther too. Uther had taken a liking to Freya. Uther joked that he was waiting for number six and number seven grandchildren.

They came on a weekend, close to their date on a rainy day in April. Hunith and Uther had taken the children for a walk as Arthur was driving to the hospital. The delivery was smooth and the babies came out healthy. Lynn was exhausted but she was very much alive and well.

They named them Kaia Ygraine and Luke Balinor. Two new bundles of joy. Kaia came out first. She had light hair and her mother eyes, they would see later to whom she looked like the most. Luke had his mother hair but Arthur's face that was very visible.

~.~ ~.~

Arthur updated his will after the birth of the twins. He included Freya in it, as he considered her as his daughter.

Having twins was hard. He helped her as much as he could. He had forgotten how hard it was. But he loved them anyway. They had doubled his happiness.

He would be fine. They would be fine. They were a family now and that was what mattered.


End file.
